Monday Morning Chuckle

This one is from a British game show called Catch Phrase. The contestants are shown a covered picture. One by one, the pieces covering the picture are removed and the first contestant to guess what the picture is wins the round/game.

I'll guess....banana cream pie?

Have a great Memorial Day.

Spiderman a Wimp?

Like so many other people, I dig Spiderman. I was reading Spiderman comics when I was a kid in the early/mid70s, I watched the Spiderman cartoon every Saturday morning…the one with the cool Spiderman theme that we all know and love.

Spiderman’s a pretty tough and brave guy, right? Swining high above the ground on the thinnest of web-strands completely unafraid, fighting bad guys and taking punches left and right, dodging bullets, dealing with fire, bombs, and a plethora of other situations that lead to pain and hurt. But, Spidey’s tough and is able to withstand all of these dangerous and blood-drawing confrontations.

So, why the hell, if he’s so tough, does he bother with a seatbelt???? Seems kinda retarded to me. (I especially like that the seatbelt is creating a hazardous situation by being over the stick-shift too.)


Maybe the bigger question is: why does he have to drive a car in the first place?

Wednesday's Word
formerly known as the "What're Words For..."

Word: Christer (n)
Definition: various meanings: a hell raiser, or one who goes ramming; anything excessive

Usage:
"Wan’t that thunderstorm a christer!”

or

"Wan't that hailstorm a christer!"

(Definition from: "How To Talk Yankee", by Gerald Lewis & Tim Sample, copyright 1979, 1986 by The Thorndike Press; copyright 1989 by the First North Country Press)

Tuesday's Taunt

It never surprises me how clever and funny kids can be.

Yesterday, while playing 4-square on the sidewalk, a group of kids - ages 7 -9 - had an argument about whether or not someone was out of bounds when they hit the ball. The ensuing argument:

Boy: I was not out of bounds.
Girl: Yes you were. Your foot was on the line.
Boy: It was not!
Girl: Yes it was. Stop being a cheater!
Boy: I am not a cheater.
Girl: Yes you are!
Boy: Oh yeah? Well you caused global warming!


hahahahahahaha! How funny is that?

CLASSIC! It was so funny listening to that exchange. Then to have the kid pull out the best taunt ever: You caused global warming!

It seems that kids in Maine are far more clever than I ever thought.

Of course, now the problem is what to do about the 7 year old girl who is apparently causing global warming...

NISN…er…NESN…Needs a Spelchequer...sorry..Spellchecker

I’m watching the Boston Red Sox game tonight on New England Sports Network, NESN, as they take on the Kansas City Royals at the historic Fenway Park in Boston. But it appears that the NESN Graphics Crew didn’t do their homework as far as correctly spelling the name of the Royals’ starting pitcher, Luke Hochevar (pronounced ho'-sha-ver), replacing the second 'h' with a 'k'.

Or maybe it’s the Royals who got it wrong and misspelled the name on his jersey…? Yeah, right.


C’mon NESN, I’m thinking, you gotta get this stuff right.

But I do forgive you for this oversight because moments later you provided this great shot looking up at the Fenway Park lettering of the stadium. Just a gorgeous shot.

Besides, moments after that the color commentary of Jerry Remy had left baseball and instead was wondering if the two lights near the moon in this shot were UFOs.

Jerry Remy wonders if these are UFOs...or trails from a 70s flashback

Or maybe he was just trying to draw a funny face. Either way, with NESN you get it all: baseball, football, hockey, basketball...misspellings, astronomy, UFOs...

I love NISN.

What the Hail is Going On?

Whew...a wicked heavy hail storm just blew through ole Orono, Maine. Hail was pea-sized, but coming down pretty hahd for about 10 minutes. You could say that this hailstorm was a christer!

Now we're just waiting for frogs to start falling. Oh, and pestulance...whatever that is.

Monday Morning Chuckle

This one is brilliant!

When I was watching this clip, time was moving really really really really slow.

Lost, Season 4, Episode 12 "There’s No Place Like Home, pt. 1"

(5/15/2008)

Jack: Speaking for the Oceanic 6, Jack tells the story to reporters that 8 people survived the crash, but only 6 survived to make it back: himself, Kate, Sun, Hurley, Sayid, and Aaron. After his father’s funeral service (without a body, natch), he finally learns from Clair’s mother, who attended, that Christian was Clair’s father and that’s why he was in Australia when he died. Jack can’t say anything about knowing Clair from the crash because she isn’t one of the survivors based on their fabricated story. Now he knows that Aaron is his nephew, but can’t tell Clair’s mom, which is quite heartbreaking, especially as she acknowledges Aaron on the way out, telling Kate he’s a beautiful baby (not even knowing it’s her grandchild).

Sun: For being such a lying and cheating manipulator, she sure pulled a dandy on big old daddy Paik. Using her “very significant” settlement from Oceanic Airlines given to the Oceanic 6, she bought a controlling interest in Paik Industries, thus becoming majority shareholder. Calling her father out by telling him she knows he hated Jin and cares nothing for her pregnancy, she has now become his boss. You have to think that with this incredible wealth and the resources that come with it, maybe Jin is still alive (despite her telling the media that he died in the initial crash) and she will use her new-found money and power to search for the island, or possibly join Widmore to exploit the island or Jacob to protect it. In either case, it seems like she’ll be looking for Jin. Did you see how cold she was to her father at the airport reunion? You could tell something was up at that point, and when she said he was one of two people she blamed for Jin’s death, it’s only matter of time before we find out who the second person is. Another reason she could use the money of Paik Industries to track down whoever the second person is.

Kate: As part of their rescue story, Kate says that her ‘son’ Aaron is 5 weeks old, which, as a reporter at the press conference pointed out, would’ve made Kate six-months pregnant at the time of her arrest and subsequent boarding of Oceanic 815 with the US Marshall. She obviously showed no signs of pregnancy not being pregnant and all, but the reporters know something in the story just is not connecting. On the Island, Kate and Sayid look for Jack and Sawyer, but are instead intercepted by Richard Alpert and an armed band of Others. Hi ho hi ho, it’s off the Temple they go.

Hurley: The island-themed welcome home party put on by his mother was a bit bizarre. Is his mother really this stupid?? Haha! His father reveals the completed red Camero they had worked on when he was a kid, but Hurley quickly dumps this gift when he looks at the odometer and it reads 81516 and the mileage at 2342. Thinking this is some kind of cruel joke, Hurley tells his father to keep the car. He really wants nothing to do with the money he won in the lottery, and now he has some huge amount from Oceanic Airlines for the settlement from the crash. Money and Hurley just don’t get along. And the appearance of the numbers on his odometer seems to indicate that the Island is already reaching out to punish him for leaving the island, and we've already seen how quickly Hurley melted-down after being rescued. This would appear to be the start of that eventual descent.

Sayid: After the press finish interviewing the Oceanic 6, the mysterious Ms Decker, Oceanic 6’s representative, informs him that someone is there to see him…Noor Abed Jazeem. It’s Nadia and they reconnect. Unfortunately we know this reunion will be short-lived as Nadia will be killed by a hit-and-run driver in California at some point in their near-future. When he arrives on the island in the Zodiac boat, he tells Juliet and the other Losties still on the beach that the people on the chopper are there to kill them all.

Sawyer: For the first time he’s able to tell Kate and Jack that they “lost Clair”, offering no additional information, but it clearly sets-up the story of Aaron being taken back by Kate. He also tells them that the people on the chopper blew up “new Otherton”. Goes with Jack on his quest to find the chopper after they have their regularly scheduled argument.

Daniel Faraday: So Sayid could go look for Jack and Sawyer to stop them from walking into a trap, he begins taking people back to the freighter on the little Zodiac boat Sayid used to get to the island. Since he knows the exact heading required to get in and out of the anomaly that shields the Island, he was the logical one to do this. The look he shared with Charlotte as he was leaving the island with a boat full of the 6 people including Sun, Jin and Aaron, along with 3 other no-names, further confirms that they share something between them. What that is we have yet to learn. From previous episodes we’ve seen them performing memory tests on him, so maybe they’re hoping the Island helps to heal him from some ailment that has not been revealed to us yet. He knows about the Orchid, but only because there’s mention of the Orchid in his notebook…the same notebook that reminded him that Desmond Hume was his constant (The Constant). Wonder how much he knows about the Orchid, or does he only know of its existence? My guess is he knows that Orchid station is where the transporting experiments occurred because he is the one who understands how teleportation happens based on the experiments he was doing at Queens College in 1996 (also addressed in The Constant).

Keamy: Do you wonder if that thing he had strapped to the inside of his upper arm is some kind of detonator that will set off the C4 that Desmond and Michael found inside the cabin of the freighter? He’s already at The Orchid station when Ben, Locke and Hurley arrive having known about this place from the Secondary Protocol that was on the freighter and was placed there by Charles Widmore, who somehow knew that Ben would go to this spot on the Island (probably because he's been there before?). Keamy knocks out Ben, who put himself out to be caught so Locke can get into the Orchid Station to move the island.

Michael: His meeting with Jin and Sun was uncomfortable. When she accused him of working for Ben he lashes back that he’s doing this to make up for what he did. That he’s doing it for them. He admits that when he and Walt got back to New York, he didn’t tell anybody who they were. So in reality, it could be the Oceanic 8. He couldn’t reveal who they were without it kicking up a huge story, of course.

Frank Lapidus: After flying Keamy and his men back to the island, they handcuffed him to the chopper. Found by Jack and Sawyer, he tells them what Keamy’s up to and says he dropped the SAT phone so they could find him and he could fly them safely off the island.

Locke: He may be the chosen one for whatever is about to happen, but it still seems that Ben is the one who knows what has to be done and how it has to be done.

Funny lines:
“It’s a phone…can’t we just call them?", Sun to everyone when they’re all talking about using the SAT phone to track the chopper.

“Who you talking to up there, Genghis?”…Sawyer to Miles as they come upon Jack and Kate in the jungle.

“You know those are 15 years old”, Ben to Hurley in reference to the crackers that he was eating after Locke tossed them to him from a box Ben uncovered.

”Just some complications with the company. Nothing you’d understand”, …Sun’s father to her in reference to her question as to whether something was wrong when she found him yelling at two of his company officers. Seconds later she tells him she bought a majority share in the company and was now the leading shareholder, which was the exact issue he was discussing when she approached! It was funny because he dismisses her as dumb and then he gets BURNED…BURNED BY THE SUN! Get it? Burned?! Sun?! Zing. hehehehe I kill me...

“Jesus Christ is not a weapon”, Hurley’s mom to him when he hears whispers at this house and picks up a Jesus statue to protect himself, only to find the whispers were from people hiding for his surprise welcome back party.

"Well all right. Could I get you boys a nice cold glass of lemonade while I'm back there?", an obviously annoyed Sawyer says to Jack and Frank when he's asked to go to the back of the chopper to get a toolbox.

“How many times to do I have to tell you, John…I always have a plan”. Ben to Locke right before giving himself up to Keamy and his men.

Interesting:

1. During the press conference of the rescued survivors, they were said to have crashed near an island called Membata (uninhabited), and after 103 days on Membata (remember: 103 is the sum of the numbers added up: 4+8+15+16+23+42 = 103) a typhoon blew the remnants of an Indonesian fishing raft onto the island and on day 108 they took it to the island of Sumba. [TFKoP Note on 5/20/2008: As you can see, I added incorrectly. The numbers, when added together, total 108 and not 103. Duh. But interesting to note that 108 also represents the number of days that passed until they were 'rescued', and it was also every 108 minutes that they had to push the button in the Swan Hatch. Sorry for the bad math. And thanks to Dan for pointing this out. -TFKoP]
2. Hurley’s birthday was shortly after he was rescued.
3. Jack finds out that Clair is his stepsister, and he can’t even admit to Clair’s mom that he knew her or that Aaron is Clair’s child.
4. Sayid answers the reporter’s question of whether any other survivors will be found: “Absolutely not.”
5. I had always thought that maybe Sun’s father was somehow involved with the Island, much like another Widmore, based on his wealth. But maybe his wealth will be used on the Island, except it will be Sun’s involvement and not her father’s.

6. Jack's mom looked...kinda creepy.
7. The Orchid is also being referred to as a greenhouse. For those of you who have not seen this video, check it out. It’s a training video from the Orchid Station, which is obviously not a greenhouse. Pay close attention around the 1:21 mark of this two-minute clip.

Orchid Station Training Video

Final Questions:

1. Does the mysterious Ms Decker, Oceanic Airlines’ mouthpiece, have a deeper connection to this story?
2. What is the unknown connection between Daniel and Charlotte? Are they lovers? Relatives?
3. Where will Ben be taken by Keamy, and will the diversion work so Locke can get to the lower rooms of the Orchid to move the Island as Jacob has requested?
4. What happens if Jack and the others who get off the Island are unable to find it because it gets moved after they leave it? Is this why Jack is so nutso in the future about trying to get back to the Island? Maybe he can’t find it because Locke moved it…
5. Who lives and who dies in the big battle coming up between the Others and Widmore’s mercenaries?
6. When we will see Penelope Widmore again?

Check out this website for some really great screen shots: http://losteastereggs.blogspot.com/

Tune in May 29, 2008 at 9pm (EST) for the two-hour Season 4 finale, “There’s No Place Like Home, Parts 2 & 3”. Yeah, I know. A two-week wait for the season finale. Stupid ABC…

What'd I miss? Lemme know.

Until then, Namaste.

TFKoP’s Toolshed

This new feature at TFKoP will involve putting tools where they belong…in a toolshed.

The first tool in the shed will be Pennsylvania Republican Senator Arlen Specter.

"I do not look like Droopy Dog."

Arl...can I call you Arl?...it was fantastic in 2004 when you beat ultra-scary-right-wing conservative Pat Toomey for the Senate seat you now hold. And your criticisms of the nitwit currently in the White House have been well-warranted. But what the hell dude….would you please just give up on your empty quest to investigate the New England Patriots and instead focus on the job you were elected for? If I’m not mistaken, Philadelphia has an out-of-control murder rate and a police force that has again been video-recorded beating a suspect. Aren’t you responsible for policing your own state’s problems instead of chasing after a sports team that has already been severely punished for having been caught cheating in the over-exposed Spygate investigation? And now that the alleged tape of the pre-Super Bowl walk-through of the St Louis Rams has been proven to have never even existed, there is no case. None. The Patriots have paid the fine, lost the draft pick and lost a lot of clout in the eyes of millions. So, Mr. Specter, just what the fuck are you doing?

Oh, wait, I know. Wasting everybody’s time. Yeah, that’s it.

"I do not look like Arlen Specter."

Here’s what we’ll have to look forward to from this clown: the single video-camera theory. “Well, you see..ahem…if you look over here at the grassy knoll along the sidelines, you can see…cough cough…that there is a video camera that is definitely aimed at the coach’s hands. But then you see that the camera changes direction and aims at the defensive coach before lodging its focus on the quarterback’s hand signals…”

What an idiot.

Me thinks that his time would be better spent focusing on an issue that has haunted his own favorite football team, the Philadelphia Eagles. I seem to remember an issue last year with the Eagles’ head coach’s two sons being involved in drugs and illegal weapons. They had to have gotten this stuff from somewhere in Pennsylvania, maybe New Jersey, right? Wouldn’t Specter's role as Chairman of the Judiciary Committee be better spent tracking down and removing felons…you know, actual CRIMINALS...from the streets of his state and our country instead of pursuing frivolous cases in which the cheaters have already been caught and punished? It certainly would’ve helped Mr. Andy Reid and his family if the criminals who were obviously so readily available to his kids, leading them into such an unfortunate lifestyle and consequence, had been pursued Arlen and the justice system.

He's lucky that his Eagles won’t be playing the Patriots this year. The Patriots will demolish his little birds. At least we’ll get the chance to experience what that would feel like on August 22 when they play a pre-season game. I know I know…pre-season football means about as much as a promise from George Bush…but it’ll be nice to watch the dismantling of the Eagles. (Note: I hate saying that about the Eagles cuz I like them. After 12 years of living in Philly, the Eagles did become part of my football life…not above the Patriots by any stretch of the imagination…but they’re definitely number 2 in my book.)

So, it’s with a great deal of undistinguishedness (is that a word?), that Arlen Specter becomes the first person inducted into the TFKoP Toolshed.